Script Extract

DESMOND the manager is in his office. There is a knock at the door and MRS TOMINO, a mature student, comes in with her clipboard. DESMOND's face falls but he manages to maintain a fair degree of weary civility.

DESMOND: Mrs Tomino.

MRS. TOMINO: I'm sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to ask a few questions.

DESMOND: Be my guest, please, sit down.

She sits.

MRS. TOMINO: I'm a little puzzled, it says in the brochure that all the sensei graduated from Harvard but Justin Sensei told us he dropped out of (reading) "William T. Sherman Technical College of Montana" because "it was full of fascist suits."

DESMOND: Ha ha ha, that's just Justin's little joke, he is from Harvard, he has a degree in, er (looks at his bust) Classical Greek art history, yes, that's it.

MRS. TOMINO: Really.

DESMOND: Oh yes.


MRS. TOMINO: What does "dozy old bitch" mean?

DESMOND: Excuse me?!

MRS. TOMINO: "Dozy old bitch", I can't find it in any of my books.

DESMOND: Who called you ... I mean, who said that?

MRS. TOMINO: Well, I asked Theresa Sensei what the present indicative of "to rest" was and she said it was too difficult to explain because I was a "dozy old bitch".

DESMOND: I see, I'm sorry I haven't heard that phrase before. If Theresa said it then it must be an Australian expression, maybe it's aboriginal.



MRS. TOMINO: (cont'd) One more thing, the salesman told me I could have a lesson with any teacher at any time but the only classes I can find that are open are Justin's and Baxter's and Baxter can't even spell properly.

DESMOND: Ah, yes, well, er when Baxter was at Harvard he developed, as part of his doctorate work, a, er, rationalised form of English spelling, it's a new thing, because English spelling is so inconsistent scientists and experts, like Baxter, are working on a better way of spelling, you see...

MRS TOMINO folds her hands on her clipboard and looks at DESMOND with her X-ray eyes.

MRS. TOMINO: To be honest Mr Desmond, I paid a lot for these classes and I don't think I'm getting value for money.

DESMOND: (losing it) I don't have to do this shit anymore!

He pulls out his wallet from his back pocket and empties the contents onto the desk, pushing the notes towards MRS TOMINO.

DESMOND: (cont'd) If you don't like this school then take your Goddamn money and piss off to NOVA you dozy old bitch!

MRS. TOMINO: You incompetent moron!

Collick & Davies Index
The East Village Poetry Web
John Collick & Paul Davies

Still shows Desmond the manager being interviewed.