Funny Business
A Special Edition of The East Village

Gabe Gudding


	To Ken Burns

My Dearest Beloved Mommy, I have only one diaper left, provisions are running
low, yet I will continue ahead with these onerous puddles and snows, until I make
General McClelland's camp.

He is a big meany but I must rely on him in your absence to feed and nurture me.
Mommy, I need cuddles and fear I will get none of your milk in McClelland's camp.
Have you sent it on ahead?

Yesterday I thought I heard your burping and met a brutal man who pinches me. I
crawled away from him last night into some pine barrens. For several hours today
as I crept along the trail I was tormented by a bumblebee who poked and fizzled
in my hair.

Mommy, please send your milk to General McClelland's camp. Send it care of

Gen'l McClelland
Beater-Upper, Mississippi

I will be there in a few days.  I am tired and maybe send someone to carry me,
any nanny or uncle. Yesterday a male dog tried to mount me. In the clouds this
forenoon, I thought I saw a dolphin smiling. She was swimming for the sunlight in
the shore stones.