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Gary Sullivan
Dear Nada,
". . . I' mi son un che, quando
Amor mi spira, noto, e a quel modo
ch'e' ditta dentro vo significando."
--Dante, Purgatorio
(I am one who, when Love inspires me
takes note, and goes setting it forth
after the fashion which he dictates
within me.)
Shapeless, the omen thrives
on cinders. Tho light
strives it. It
is intent on Now before
it blots. My word
as good as water.
No letter's
silent, my mouth a Yes
such that your eyes are needed
to read it. Say, say if this
is true. What are you thinking?
Answer me: the sad memories in you
aren't yet destroyed
by Love. Come,
pour in my mouth
the one word that fills yours.
* * *
How do you tell a story? Where
without aging I die I love
you o my prison. Love? Nothing
no one can say not arising
out of pain. Coarsely gathered
in our own serene faces, so
waterful, thinned like paint
... no omen worse than that.
Make
move your reason, its exact
rigor, & on the heel of my hand
I'll kiss your fingers.
But if I prick
your heart it's only to see it
bloom, & in that brownness which is the mind
green things flourish
not only
the should've been, not
only as a tree is only
become a ship & lost at sea.
Didn't I see
you, just now? How else do I miss you, no
you Our cells are prisons.
We tire ourselves
in submersion.
Meanwhile, I hang
upon your lips, I'm mortal, the movie that
everything is. One can't describe love without sounding
bleak. So, let's you & me
keep it clean & simple
accurately non-numbered
it's not enough to say
"love," looking into
the light of the heart
* * *
You're the hole in my sock, & the mind quick to discern
you're the caring-to-wound who on hands & knees gives up
you're the "Hey man, what's happening?" & the unknowing jolt
you're the whole face that wet the fingers that lost touch
with the tongue I read in some poem in that other world
you're the coifed present life labeled Past Behavior
you're my most respected addressee, my O My
you're what I've ever seen confront me, a broken surface
you're no word, no word, only an awkwardness of eternal light
you're my consciousness, my here, my where-else-could-I-find-cold
& to begin with, you do not stop at you.
Nada, my Name
any name I might give you, the title
of any book. & I love you
because you're beautiful & strong.
* * *
An omen must be read. As specifically as Love. I'm not
gonna blow even one blue note from your brow
but neither can you lock one under box lid. Give it up. Surrender,
I'm this man sitting under those stars on this earth. I, I'm
empty, but awake. & there's no difference between
you & me. What does it mean that "you & me" is magic
& unreal? The universe is fully known because it is ignored.
I don't want to be ignored by you. And I'm not in a greedy mood.
I'm simply not here, where you are reading this. It causes
confusion, & future mending. Mend,
but with an amused gesture.
* * *
"Well, that's life!"
"Does this trail lead to the ridge?"
"endless nothingness of reality"
"Let's get out of here"
"remember me"
* * *
OMEN: "Willingly I'll say there's been a sweet marriage,"
divined by B. for me from Bending the Bow.
We bent it so far it snapped. Banged up she came
but near-virgin, & gone back to seed she left. Everything
speaks to us, we simply don't bother to stop
& listen. Every
thing. Is your cunt one lip? Or those folds now kept
just out of reach. What I imagine (you)
lives & trembles in the air. Every fold inside you
dreaming a different kind of dream.
OMEN: "I have taken leave of the friends I love the most & have
set out on a [ILLEGIBLE]."
OMEN: "You walk,
you get muddy."
* * *
Love is anterior to life,
Posterior to death,
Initial of creation, and
The exponent of breath.
--Emily Dickinson
* * *
Like concentric waves on the wind, our water, a bird
my heart your kiss, an open fountain, my eyes
on your lips.
Heart spins like a top.
I'm caught
Should I care? Adios, sun
& the river at my feet
I wanna go back to you
& from you
to my heart. You going too?
Adios,
our bare heart.
Nada, avoid the illusion there can be any lack
for someone who wishes, then fully decides.
& tell me, tell me
oh how incomprehensibly far from this
you feel
we are.
Will me with you. Dear woman, filled with our hesitant fate
tell me
tell me
we no longer lay out each path
as a lovely meander
I await your answer,
love,
Gary
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