The East Village

Gabe Gudding


very little has been written. Yet it is obvious the creature is hanging 
on by a very thin thread: it has not much brawn and can be quite rickety 
in its construction -- being essentially a kind of wicker bird.  The 
rectum of a Peacock is thus like a flask in a picnic basket: it might 
fall out if the bird is jostled.  In this sense the rectum of a peacock 
is like a fender on an ancient car: it sits at the back and rattles.  If 
one kicks a peacock, it is not unusual to knock the rectum clear out of 
the bird. A pig is ashamed of its legs but is not ashamed of its rectum.  
I don't know why that is. A fish cannot speak because it is holding its 
breath. It is best not to gallop while wearing a colostomy bag. The anus 
is a kind of larynx of the nether region: it is the only vocal cord 
unattached to the lungs.  As such, it is an "independent" vocal cord -- a 
kind of "colony" among vocal cords - a settlement of the voice in one of 
the body's distant regions.  There is a cockatrice in my testicle. The 
rectum, for instance, is the rec-room of the body, where our feces romp 
as children before entering the world.  There is a certain amount of pomp 
at their graduation.  Each rectum is highly personal.  Whereas a 
colostomy bag is a much more public device insofar as it hangs outside  
the body.  A dog's ass is public, whereas a human one is not. Insofar as 
the anus will allow light into the rectum during a fart, the rectum is a 
kind of camera obscura. The walleye is a kind of Italian: he gloats about 
himself.  Diarrhea, before it is released from the body, is like an 
annoyed Raven in a leather jar. Once, I tried to kill a walleye after a large dinner, 
but I had grown so fat at the table that I had to re-learn how to punch,  
and I felt like Humpty Dumpty trying to learn Kung Fu.  It is  not polite 
to pluck a colostomy bag from a person and hurl it at a bridge.