Funny Business
A Special Edition of The East Village

Jack Collom


Mary Griego went and got Pete
to bring a vacuum cleaner so she
could vacuum up the cookie 
crumbs and crepe snippets left
over from Family Night, and while he
was here Bitsy asked him if
he ever cleaned the outside 
sidewalks; there was a huge
cockroach out there was what catalyzed
her question. Pete stepped out then
and just stomped the giant bug.  Bitsy
said something like, "Woof,
you've got bugjuice jammed up
in your bootsole, mister."  She
and Mary were coming out with 
civilized "ooh" smiles and agreeing that
"Women are wimps." Whereupon
Pete related how his wife
would whack cockroaches with his, Pete's,
hammer and then put it
back without washing it and he'd
find these layers of bug-crust on it
when he went to pound a nail.  Until
one time he wiped it off on
her shirt and she hasn't
done that since.  "You have a 
weird relationship," said Bitsy.